bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize