I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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