I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
