Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
