I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you win again, gameday.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
