Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
