Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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