No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
