I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
