I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
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I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
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what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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