i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
