who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
