Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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