I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
