He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
