from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
