That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
