It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize