I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
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shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm having to shit out rocks
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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