I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
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