I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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