dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
