we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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