The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
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I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
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Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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