Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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