theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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