hell yes lets make some ravioli
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
