Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
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I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
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the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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