Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
