My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
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Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
So squirting runs in the family.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
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Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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