Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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