Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
