last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
