I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dicks are not precious.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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