***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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