He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
