I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
