i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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