We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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