just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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