She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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