so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
