Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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