We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
