He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize