Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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