we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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