Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
