hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize