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I'm going to jail i love you
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
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