making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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