I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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