all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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