I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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