Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
