You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
A bitchslap is in order.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
