There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
